Immodest Proposal: Frozen Assets

Photograph by IStockPhoto/Alasdair Thomson

When freezers full of expired food were recently discovered in Boston public schools, it led to justifiable howls of outrage. But, as usual, the whole thing has gone too far. Why, some demanded to know, were students being served this frozen dreck at all? Hasn’t Michelle Obama been crusading for kids to eat fresh foods? Sure, rising obesity levels make it a bad idea to be sending children to Lunch-Lady Land for thawed sloppy joes, but studies have shown that frozen vegetables are just as nutritious as fresh ones. They’re cheaper, too. So pump the kids full of ’em: peas coming out of their ears, broccoli out of their noses, and hopefully something going down their throats. And besides, if the school system can’t manage to use frozen food efficiently, how can we expect them to put out fresh food before it turns rotten?