Maybe Don’t Stalk Jon Hamm on His Next Visit to Boston

Jon Hamm filming “The Town” by greenmelinda on Flickr

Alert: Jon Hamm will be in Boston next week. But cool it, Stalker Sally. His rep has confirmed to several sources that he’ll be here for surgery to remove a polyp from his vocal chords. According to Life & Style, his co-star January Jones spilled the beans at an Emmy after-party.  “January Jones was talking about it at the Governors Ball afterparty last night,” says “an insider.” Betty’s revenge! (Does Betty want revenge? We’re like four seasons behind on Mad Men.)

Maybe you still have fond memories of hiding in the bushes outside his trailer while he was filming The Town, and you’d like to relive all the moments you had together. Alas, Boston.com writes, “sorry, ladies: Specific dates, times, location are not (yet) available,” which … ha! That’s right, crazy. Put away your sexy nurse outfit. Click away from that Tumblr devoted to his prominent man parts. Perhaps you don’t care that he’ll be here for a surgery because he has “a soft, benign (noncancerous) growth, similar to a blister” attached to his vocal chord. Maybe that’s not gross to you. Maybe the Paul Bunyan look he’s been rocking only stokes the flames of your passion. But alas, we’ve got no hospital information, no dates even. So you’re out of luck, Sally Sue. Get ’em next time.