The Education of Bill O’Reilly

PHOTO BY JIM COOPER/AP

Sensitivity

THEN
“In the past, if you worked hard and played the game, you might achieve the position you coveted. But that’s all over now…. Racial minorities, veterans, and [convicts] have been told the American dream is closed.”

NOW
“[Y]ou gotta look people in the eye and tell ’em they’re irresponsible and lazy…. In this country, you can succeed if you get educated and work hard. Period.”

Political Spin

THEN
“[W]hat I know best is the disingenuous crap I’ve been fed by people in positions of responsibility.”

NOW
“If the Americans go in and overthrow Saddam Hussein and [he doesn’t have WMDs], I will apologize to the nation, and I will not trust the Bush administration again, all right?”

Hyperbole

THEN
“Hysteria and rhetoric are as useless as they are common in times of crisis.”

NOW
“[The ACLU is] the most dangerous organization in the [U.S.]…They’re, like, second next to Al Qaeda.”

Leisure Pursuits*

THEN
“Foxy Fanne Foxe is a better stripper than Blaze Starr, but the best I’ve seen was a drunken, middle-aged housewife in a topless bar in Syracuse, New York — smokin’.”

NOW
“I would take the little loofah thing and kinda soap your back and rub it all over you…and then with my other hand I would start to massage your boobs.”

*Allegedly.