Northshore Mall vs. South Shore Plaza

From left: Northshore Mall and South Shore Plaza photos by John Phelan via Wikimedia Commons

When a craving for a Cheesecake Factory Glamburger or a strategically ripped pair of Abercrombie jeans strikes, denizens of both shores know what to do: make a beeline to the Northshore Mall or South Shore Plaza. So how do these froyo-slinging, Muzak-blaring teen magnets stack up? We paid a visit to both in search of megamall Valhalla.

Is there a Cheesecake Factory?

Northshore Mall: Yes, beckoning from the highway like a temple of gluttony.
South Shore Plaza: Yes, beckoning from the highway like a temple of gluttony.

Advantage: Neither (tie).

Let’s talk about the drive.

Northshore Mall: A depressing trip down memory lane starring the Hilltop Steak House, now a pile of dirt.
South Shore Plaza: No soft pretzel is worth merging into multiple lanes of Southeast Expressway traffic.

Advantage: Northshore. Hilltop died. You don’t want to.

What about parking?

Northshore Mall: Easy, with spaces aplenty.
South Shore Plaza: Harrowing, with several spots overtaken by months-old graying snow piles.

Advantage: Northshore. Did we even get any snow this winter?

Does it have good anchor stores?

Northshore Mall: The typical assortment: Nordstrom, Macy’s, and Sears.
South Shore Plaza: All the usual suspects, plus Target. Enough said.

Advantage: South Shore, of course.

How’s the food court?

Northshore Mall: The directory promises a Taco Bell. There is no Taco Bell. There is, however, a very friendly cashier (with a following) at Au Bon Pain.
South Shore Plaza: Bright and spacious, with atrium ceilings. There’s also a Cheeseboy.

Advantage: South Shore.

Tell me about the crowd.

Northshore Mall: More chatty old men than at a urologist’s office.
South Shore Plaza: So many strollers.

Advantage: Neither (tie). Both will get in the way of your spring shopping spree.

How will shopping there change my life?

Northshore Mall: There’s a chapel right below New You Oriental Therapy.
South Shore Plaza: Why not visit Forever Flawless?

Advantage: Northshore, in a landslide.

Where can I drown my sorrows after maxing out my credit card?

Northshore Mall: Kappy’s Fine Wine & Spirits, across the street.
South Shore Plaza: Dave & Buster’s.

Advantage: South Shore. Go ahead, treat yourself to that Pineapple Coconut Glow Kone.

Restrooms.

Northshore Mall: Pristine.
South Shore Plaza: Pristine.

Advantage: You.

*** WINNER ***

South Shore. With Target and Dave & Buster’s, it’s business in the front, party in the back.

See more North Shore vs. South Shore. »