The Red Sox are in Chaos!

Fenway Park photo by the Greater Boston Convention & Visitors Bureau / Flickr.

Hey, who’s got two thumbs and is excited about the beginning of Red Sox season? Wait, nobody? Nobody in the entire city of Boston has two working thumbs? Well, that’s what it feels like anyway, with the old town team just about 24 hours away from its opening day. Between closer Andrew Bailey’s thumb surgery, which will keep him out for three-four months, and Josh Beckett’s mysterious thumb boo-boo, which temporarily prevented him from sucking that particular finger but was not deemed serious enough to prevent him from taking his turn in the rotation, we’re having an unprecedented level of thumb-based problems here.

Of course, that’s not the only chaos in Red Sox land. It all started earlier in spring training with the controversy over whether young prospect Jose Iglesias would start the year in AAA or with the big league club. General manager Ben Cherington wanted him in the minors and manager Bobby Valentine seemed to want him in Boston, and there was widespread talk of a rift between the GM and Valentine (Cherington won out, for now). But that’s not all! Courtesy of none other than Curt Schilling, there’s already talk that the current Red Sox players don’t like Bobby V at all. And now, this morning, there’s word that Valentine has signed a deal to make weekly radio appearances on a station in New York. Which is really just sort of weird. (Though if you’re looking for an uncomfortable but very enjoyable Q&A with the new Sox manager, I’ve got one for you.)

Put it all together and I think there’s only one sensible course of action: EVERYBODY FREAK OUT.

I’m not usually one to set off the panic alarm, but this season hasn’t even started yet and it already feels a lot like last September. To be honest, I enjoy the melodrama, but I know that not all other Sox fans out there might. So, for all of you, the best I can do is refer you to Wes Welker. I saw his new ad for the first time during the NCAA hoops title game Monday night, but really it feels like it should have been targeted at Sox fans.