The Secret Lives of the New England Aquarium Penguins

Illustration by Dale Stephanos

Psst, Boston. A little birdie here with the inside track on the juiciest gossip in town. We’re talking two-timing males and their scheming mates, real estate wars and secret love nests, and rivalries that would put the Real Housewives to shame. But you won’t find this sublime soap opera at the Fairmont Copley Plaza, the Encore Boston Harbor casino, or the bowels of City Hall. No, it’s all on display at the New England Aquarium.

In the penguin exhibit.

Yes, dear reader, it’s here that you’ll find 42 African penguins and 14 southern Rockhoppers: a motley assortment of flightless lovebirds, free spirits, and ne’er-do-wells in a sprawling habitat with plenty of room for natural drama. Penguins are fiercely territorial. They’re monogamous—but not for life! They don’t recognize their children or their siblings. And we need not remind you that birds are descended from dinosaurs.

So take a plunge with us to a place where the water is a cool 60 degrees, the lights rise and fall in time with the New England sun, and the craggy rocks are labeled Islands Zero through Four. We’ll even reveal one of our secret sources: Mia Luzietti, penguin trainer extraordinaire. She’s a champ at telling apart these black-and-white birds (who are named for breeding grounds in their native lands or, in some cases, infamous oil spills). And trust us when we tell you she knows all the dirt.

MOVING IN ON A MAN

What’s the hottest gossip in the penguin zone? Sources say it’s the simmering love triangle between Vondeling and two sassy ladies who are competing for his affection. Vondeling and Bird have been an exclusive item for the past five years, but single lady De Hoop has her sights on this alpha male, and lately, she’s been making her move. Talk about love on the rocks. (No, there’s no ice in this exhibit; though Antarctica is a famous penguin hot spot, most species live in temperate climates. These African penguins originally hail from South Africa and Namibia.)

Most of the time, the penguins collect in pairs to pass the day. But Bird is a wanderer, and when she takes off for a midday swim, De Hoop takes the opportunity to make her presence known. She and Vondeling have been flirting hard: shaking their heads suggestively, making noise, and—when they’re ready to take it physical—preening each other’s feathers. Lately, De Hoop has even been brazen enough to turn up when Bird is at Vondeling’s side; Bird chases her away, but De Hoop isn’t letting go. It wouldn’t be the first switcheroo in penguin territory—or the last!

One by one, Bray knocked other penguins out of her space and into the water, like a high school Queen Bee who wants the best lunch table for herself.

THE QUEEN BEE

This just in: Which penguin erupted into an adolescent rage one day this fall, throwing other penguins off Island One? All signs point to beautiful Bray. This one-and-a-half-year-old just traded her baby gray coat for black-and-white grown-up plumage, and she’s wowed her human trainers with facial marks that look like sculpted eyebrows. (Very demure.)

Pair that glamour with some serious karate-chopping skills—flighted birds have hollow bones, but penguin bones are dense, the better for deep diving—and you get a drama queen who really packs a punch. One by one, Bray knocked other penguins out of her space and into the water, like a high school queen bee who wants the best lunch table for herself.

Bray seems more than content to keep her own company—we spotted her recently, trying to catch a glimpse of herself in an underwater mirror. And there’s no hurry to drum up an interest in the boys; penguins usually don’t mate until they’re three or four. Until then, suitors, beware: If you come at her, she might swipe left!

CARRYING A TORCH

Sometimes, the hardest thing to do is admit that he’s not that into you. Turn your attention, dear reader, to Island Zero, where one recent day, Seneca was standing like a statue in his usual spot, surrounded by gawking human visitors. (Penguins have excellent eyesight—when you’re staring at him, rest assured, he’s looking back.) And there was Isis, his ex, camped out on a ledge a few feet below.

Yes, they broke up years ago, so imagine our shock when Isis waddled straight up to Seneca with a bold head-tilt that suggested she had a rebound on her mind. Sadly, old Seneca didn’t tilt back—but that scamp let Isis preen his feathers anyway. Then, not 20 minutes later, he was spotted with In-Guza, the current object of his affection—and when In-Guza bobbed her head, Seneca bobbed right back.

And where was poor Isis when this was going down? A few feet away, close enough to watch. Our shy girl has been without a mate for four years now. Would she have found a new man already if Seneca didn’t keep leading her on?

THE WILD-CHILD COUPLE

Heard on Island Three on a recent morning: That donkey-like honking that lets us know a penguin is searching for her mate. It was Namibia, calling out as usual for her rascally boyfriend, Jahleel. Did he answer as he zoomed through the water nearby? Not on your life.

This love match might have its ups and downs, but the penguin trainers still think it was meant to be. Due to climate change, overfishing, and pollution, the African penguin is projected to be extinct by 2035, so human matchmakers at the Association of Zoos and Aquariums have set up their version of a little black book. (We’ll forgive them for the less-than-romantic name: Species Survival Plan.) Namibia was brought from an aquarium in Georgia specifically to match up with Jahleel. But whether they’d hit it off was anyone’s guess.

Luckily, when the trainers put them in a room together, Jahleel and Namibia connected right away—maybe because they’re both loud, carefree, and a little intense. (They were both spotted knocking other penguins off their favorite rock during a recent feeding time.) Still, our sources tell us the last mating season was a bit of a test for this wild-child couple, who turned out to have not one, but two eggs to hatch. The trainers weren’t sure these first-time parents were up for the responsibility, and sure enough, Jahleel failed the test: Often, when he was supposed to be sitting on his nest, he’d get right up and waddle toward some distraction.

So those sneaky humans slipped wooden eggs into Jahleel and Namibia’s nest and gave the real eggs to Harlequin and Durban, a pair of veteran parents. When one egg started to hatch, they snuck it right back under Jahleel’s tail feathers—and that bad boy didn’t know the difference.

LITTLE BUT LOUD

Napoleon (the human) might have taught you: If your size isn’t naturally imposing, you can always find ways to make your presence known. That’s Poa the southern Rockhopper, petite and dainty except for her barking voice. Rockhoppers, who hail from South America, are known to be loud, but Poa is a high-decibel standout. One recent afternoon, while the rest of her companions were resting on their rocky island, this tiny beauty queen was speeding through the water on her own—and shouting nonstop for attention.

That self-confidence is a bit of a miracle, given Poa’s tragic upbringing: We’re told her parents, Pebble and Fuego, dutifully sat on her egg, but they didn’t have much interest in raising her once she hatched. So Poa grew up hand-fed by humans, and her trainers suspect she’s strong and self-sufficient in response. Now, this demanding only child can be a challenge, but the aquarium staff loves her back: They even entered her last year in a national penguin beauty contest. Don’t let it get to her tiny head!

THE HOTTEST GUY

Look out, ladies: Our candidate for penguin with the most animal magnetism might just be Albatross. This nine-year-old African penguin was a hot item with Deco, the oldest African penguin in the exhibit. And when Deco died last year just shy of the remarkable age of 42, Albatross was soon back on the hunt. Lately, he’s set his sights on Dassen, even though she’s been paired up with Quoin for more than four years. How strong is Albatross’s pull? Dassen has been known to swim over even when she’s molting—a feather-shedding time when penguins usually avoid the water at all costs. Cue a Taylor Swift song about kissing in the rain!

Yes, our eagle eyes recently saw Dassen lounging near Albatross on Island One while Quoin looked on from Island Two. And there’s another illicit wrinkle to this love affair: Albatross and Dassen are brother and sister. But just like soap stars with amnesia, they don’t remember at all.

LOOK OUT FOR LOVEBIRDS

Don’t let this two-timing make you despair, dear reader; there’s still enough love in the African penguin exhibit to fill a Hallmark aisle. Take lone-wolf Durban and his regal lady Harlequin: Those reliable foster parents have been together for 24 years, twice as long as their life expectancy in the wild. Or Pip, whom our friend Mia describes as “an old man who can never find his wife,” calling out for his partner, Hout, all day long, even if she’s only a few feet away. (While she sometimes ignores him, she’s still loyal to the end.)

Across the way in the Rockhopper colony, there’s Chrysocome and Terhalten, the one proud LGBTQ+ couple in the current penguin set. These two ladies have been an item for at least six years now, and the trainers have plans to make them foster parents someday.

All that love in the air means the penguin exhibit is no place for the prudish. Spotted at the top of Island Four one recent day, an hour after feeding time: Possession and Chrysanthi, in flagrante delicto—and in, ahem, a variety of positions. Someone ought to tell them to get a room.

SELLING SUNSET?

Nothing ruffles feathers like a real estate dispute. And when more than one penguin couple is territory-hunting at once, you can be sure some bad behavior is going down. Right now, several African penguin pairs are in the market for a desirable spot on the rocks, and Aewa and Plum Pudding have set their sights especially high. Not long ago, Good Hope, the oldest penguin in the gang at 35, had to leave the exhibit to get eye surgery. (Cataracts and glaucoma are common in these sturdy senior birds.) While he was out, wouldn’t you know it: Aewa and Plum Pudding moved onto his primo ledge on Island Two.

Well, now Good Hope is back, and has taken back his rightful territory, despite repeated attempts from the encroachers to take it over once again. Recently, he was spotted pacing around his property, and let’s say he struck quite a figure: molting so his feathers looked shaggy like a rock star, one eye gone but the other giving an unmistakable side-eye. When Aewa and Plum Pudding came by, he fluffed up his feathers and made his presence known. Clearly, it worked—that day, at least—because later on, they were spotted trying to move onto Lambert and Dyer’s turf instead.

If Aewa and Plum Pudding are really ambitious, they might move on to the most coveted spot in the territory: the cave-like indentation on Island Four. This notable nook is perfect for a species that lays its eggs in burrows. (A confined space, Mia tells us, “really gets them in the mood.”) Like the most exclusive table at a hot restaurant, it’s the source of some serious jockeying. Uno and WhiteBlack claimed it for a close encounter on a recent day. But you can bet there were couples lined up to stake a claim…and maybe get it on. Location, location, location!

BUBBLE BOY

What happens when the biggest bird in the bunch is a little kid at heart? Feast your eyes on Kaapse, an ox of a penguin at nearly 10 pounds—and a giant aficionado of…bubbles. Kaapse might just be the biggest fan of enrichment, that glorious time of day when the trainers bring out toys and tools to help the penguins mimic natural behavior such as foraging. In a back room behind the sea lion exhibit, the trainers keep a stash of goodies: floating islands to balance on, thick swaths of fabric from a car wash, PVC pipes connected in tree-like shapes, and even some gigantic rubber duckies. (When little Poa the Rockhopper spotted one of those, we’re told, she swam right up to it and started yelling in its face!)

On one recent day, Kaapse and human Mia got into a tug of war over a car-wash strip—and that big little guy pulled so hard that he undid a knot in the fabric. It’s par for the course for our husky man, who’s also a bit of a hoarder: He’ll rip stuff right out of the trainers’ hands, run up on an island, sit on it, and refuse to give it back. He might not be the only penguin with goodies stowed away: “They’re very
collect-y animals,” Mia tells us. But it makes us wonder what else we’d find if we had a chance to dig through his stash.

THE FEATHER-SNATCHER

Speaking of hoarding: Sources tell us that during the last breeding season, when the Rockhopper pairs started building nests on their craggy island, Penacho went on a covert mission. As his fellow birds sat still as statues, protecting their eggs, Penacho traipsed right up to them, one by one, and ripped some bright-gold crest feathers straight out of their heads.

What was his purpose? Apparently, décor—he added those fancy feathers to his collection of material. We’ve heard of feathering your nest, but this takes the cake.

LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON

Remember Jahleel and Namibia, the penguins with strong genes and an even stronger will? Their two seven-month-old chicks are in the exhibit now, and let’s just say the feather doesn’t fall far from the nest. Our eagle eyes recently spotted little Oyster, the one whose egg was slipped back into Jahleel’s nest, trying to take a bite out of the brush a human volunteer was using to clean out the exhibit. And Fitzpatrick, who was raised by foster parents Harlequin and Durban, seems to have inherited Jahleel’s zoomy nature and his penchant for breaking the rules: For entertainment, he’ll play with sprinklers and other parts of the exhibit that definitely aren’t toys.

Fortunately, both of them still have their gray juvenile coats, which warn the other penguins to cut them some slack if they happen to misbehave. When their grown-up feathers finally come in, will they have the maturity to match? All signs point to…probably not.

Shhh—don’t tell anyone, but a certain African penguin has been wandering the very dry offices of the aquarium’s human staff.

WANDERLUST

Shhh—don’t tell anyone, but a certain African penguin has been wandering the very dry offices of the aquarium’s human staff. When the trainers take the penguins off the exhibit for medical care—many need eye drops and treatments for lesions on their feet—they always want to offer something to look forward to in return. Some penguins get their satisfaction from a slippery fish or a scratch on the head. But some of them like a field trip. We’re told In-Guza is always first in line for an off-exhibit jaunt—whenever she sees a carrier, she jumps right in.

And while most penguins like to gawk at the fish tank or stare at the sea lions, In-Guza makes it clear that it’s the humans she wants to see. Her favorite spot is the hallway outside the Visitor Education Department, where she’s been known to waddle up and down as people come out to watch. Maybe she suspects that human office life is full of drama, too.

Still, when it comes to motivation, there might be no more charming way to win a penguin’s buy-in than what happens with 32-year-old Lambert. This sweet old man has suffered from cataracts and now gets eye drops twice a day. And nothing pumps up his spirits more than a visit with his loyal girlfriend, Dyer. So when he’s done with his treatment, the trainers will deposit him beside her on the rock. Cue the violins.

And with that, Dear Reader, your faithful birdie will leave you to your own imagination as you ponder the future in penguin paradise. Will Vondeling make a choice? Will Bray find a friend? Will Kaapse add to his collection? Will In-Guza get a desk job? If you spot a penguin trainer, you might want to inquire about the latest scoop. Don’t ask us, because our lips—and beaks—are sealed.