Spanning the Web

Taking you around the internet for your afternoon enjoyment.

Men of Boston, Jessica Simpson wants you: The reality star told Access Hollywood that she wants to date a guy from Boston, claiming they are “closest to a Southern man.” While it’s not clear why Simpson can’t date a Southern man if that’s what she’s looking for, we’ll let it go. We don’t get her appeal, but our guy friends think she’s hot. [Globe, third item]

The camera guy does some investigating: A photojournalist for WBZ says a security guard at the RCA Dome told him the team pumps crowd noise back through the PA system to distract opponents. It’s moot now that CBS has accepted responsibility for the audio hiccup in the broadcast, but we’re still watching you, Indy. [WBZ]

Don’t toss your 38 Sox jersey yet: Curt Schilling reports he and the Red Sox have reached a 1-year deal. We can only imagine the expression on Theo Epstein’s face when the first thing Schilling asked him after reaching an agreement is if he could blog about it. [38 Pitches]

Elementary school students can have birth control, but the Greatest Generation can’t play cribbage? Maine continues to fascinate and confuse us, this time by cracking down on a weekly cribbage tournament held at the American Legion Post in Gardiner. Police say the venue didn’t have a license to host games of chance, while the veterans maintain they should be allowed a measly $5 game after serving in the Great War. Indeed, gentlemen. [WCVB]