Spanning the Web

You keep saying this, and still we don’t believe you. The O’Neill tunnel is still leaking water at an increasing rate, and safety officials are arguing about where the water is coming from. But guess what? The tunnel is totally safe! [Globe]

Mama drama. Tom Brady wants some time off from quarterbacking when his baby is born any day now. (How Bridget Moynahan is even moving these days is beyond us.) Coach Belichick says that Tom will be treated like any other player who has an unplanned baby on the way, so keep holding that baby in, Bridget! [WBZ]

Legal drama. Michael Vick will plead guilty to charges relating to the dogfighting ring he operated on one of his properties. The NFL hasn’t said what punishment they’ll give Vick, but we wouldn’t take him in a fantasy draft anytime soon. [Boston.com]

Charlie gets his ass kicked. A 19-year-old Stoughton man was arrested for issuing a beatdown to an MBTA gate in Braintree. Nobody aside from the MBTA cares, since we all want to give those buzzing, beeping monstrosities a kicking too. [WBZ]

“Fuckin’ Yankees.” Indeed. [The Onion]