53 Times Leslie Knope Was an Evident DGAF Empress
All screenshots via Netflix/NBC
We all know Parks and Rec‘s Leslie Knope is incredibly whole-hearted and good at giving compliments, but because she’s Amy Poehler’s character, she’s got a lot of spunk and sass that undeniably put her in the league of Bostonian snark.
So, in light of Tuesday’s series finale that will likely bring America to tears, we’re honoring Parks and Rec‘s leading lady as the most dominant, self-confident, DGAF character on TV. Here are all the times Leslie Knope just got us.
1. On cheating: “I took your idea and made it better.”
2. On conduct: “Sit tight? Take a beat? Relax? I don’t really do any of those things.”
3. On self-actualization: “I would like a glass of red wine, and I’ll take the cheapest one you have because I can’t tell the difference.”
4. On culture: “I am not singing ‘Beauty School Dropout.’ It’s sexist and I don’t do slow jams.”
5. When it’s Monday:
6. Tuesday: “When you hear them talk about that blond pain in the ass—that’s me.”
7. Wednesday: “Hey, Leslie. It’s Leslie. Hang in there. I love you. Bye.”
8. Thursday:
9. Friday: “I am gonna get drunk, and then I’m gonna order a three course meal where each course is made of dessert.”
10. Saturday: “Everything hurts and I am dying.”
11. Sunday: “Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?”
12. On rich people: “Oh my God, I wonder who else was born in Eagleton. Voldemort probably.” (Poehler actually said once that Lexington is the Eagleton to Burlington’s Pawnee.)
13. When being supportive: “You’re pretty cocky for someone whose job is obsolete because of the internet.”
14. On human interaction: “What I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring loudly at me.”
15. On politics:
16. On friendship: “I need you to text me every 30 seconds saying that everything is gonna be OK.”
17. On dating: “Guys love it when you can show them you’re better than they are at something.”
18. …“Oh, so just because I can’t go out with him, someone else can? Wow.”
19. …“One time I was dating this guy for a while and he got down on one knee and he begged me to never call him again.”
20. …“Every time a couple gets married, two single people die.”
21. On sports:
22. On movie goals: “50 percent more love, 75 percent more action, 125 percent more stunts, and 250 percent more explosions.”
23. On dieting: “I stand behind my decision to avoid salad and other disgusting things.”
24. On drugs: “Turns out there wasn’t any pot in the brownie, it was just an insanely good brownie.”
25. On priorities: “Hoes before bros. Uteruses before duderuses. Ovaries before brovaries.”
26. On Blake Lively’s Boston accent:
27. When driving: “The only thing I will be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother!”
28. …“Look, I have been very civil. But I will waterboard you.”
29. …“I take those burning coals, I shove them back down their throats and I watch their melting flesh drip off their worthless faces.”
30. On vegetarianism: “Well, there are a lot of people that don’t consider salad a food.”
31. When the forecast says snow:
32. When it actually begins to snow:
33. On being a commuter: “I don’t want to be overdramatic, but today felt like 100 years in hell and the absolute worst day of my life.”
34. When riding the T:
35. On being a good sport: “Winning is every girl’s dream. But it’s my destiny. And my dream.”
36. On sexual encounters:
37. On education: “Math is pointless in real life. I mean there’s an app for calculating tips, that’s all you need.”
38. On the Red Sox: “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m about to endorse 10 beers into my mouth because this has been an incredibly stressful evening.”
39. On policy: “I believe assault should be legal if the person is a jerk.”
40. On existentialism: “Well that’s great and everything, but unfortunately you should all know that it doesn’t matter because nothing matters because life is pointless.”
41. On that scene in Gone Girl:
42. When being affectionate: “Jerry’s face is the symbol of failure.”
43. When being friendly: “Jerry, did you use permanent marker again? Let’s all pretend Jerry wasn’t born.”
44. On diligence: “I’m gonna go fall asleep on a bench.”
45. On being chill:
46. On making sense of things: “You don’t even know one thing! I didn’t even say one thing and then she asked me the whole thing and I didn’t even do it once!”
47. On college kids: “That’s style now, Ron. It’s called lollipopping. All the kids are doing it.”
48. On being a person: “It’s so hard to read when you’re drunk.”
49. On people who utilize space savers:
50. When speaking to middle-aged people: “You have plenty of jeans.”
51. On the ideal man: “He has the brains of George Clooney in the body of Joe Biden.”
52. On being chic: “Do you have, like, a first date outfit I could borrow? Like, I don’t know, a pair of cargo pants.”
53. When you truly DGAF:
