The Pope Plays Yankee Stadium, Skips Fenway

We don’t usually question the Vicar of Christ, mainly because we’re nervous about being smote by God, not only did His Holiness choose to skip Boston during his visit to the States in April, but he’s going to visit Yankee Stadium and the yet-to-be-named Nationals stadium in Washington. Apparently, someone forgot to copy the Vatican on the memo that the Yankees aren’t God’s chosen team anymore.

Here’s the Supreme Pontiff’s scheduled dates for his American tour:

In his first visit to the US as pope, Benedict will speak at the United Nations, visit the site of the 9/11 attack in Manhattan, and meet at the White House with President Bush. He will also celebrate Mass at Yankee Stadium in New York and at the new Nationals baseball stadium, which is now under construction in Washington.

While the Yankees could use a little divine intervention (ZING!), we’re disappointed the Pope would rather hold mass at the Nationals’ park than appear at Fenway. And we don’t buy the excuse that the sexual abuse scandal would make visiting our city controversial. If anything, a visit from Benedict would reassure local Catholics that the Vatican cares about the crisis of faith they experienced. Instead, we’ll have to watch him on TV from New York. There is no way in hell we’ll be caught in Yankee Stadium.

We mean that figuratively, of course.