Jacoby Ellsbury Makes Us Swoon

The Red Sox haven’t had a crush-worthy player since Johnny Damon won our hearts with his Neanderthal features. This season we got Jacoby Ellsbury, the player with both the skills we appreciate and the [EDIT: young] good looks the team was lacking. When you hear a whole lot of high-pitched shrieking emanating from Downtown Crossing early this evening, it’s because Ellsbury is in town for a DVD signing.

In order to meet the part-time center fielder at FYE, you’ve got to pre-order or purchase the 2007 World Series DVD from the store. At $19.99, it’s a small price to pay to meet the future superstar. The signing isn’t until 4 p.m., but we wanted to give you time to work on your plan to escape from work. We find feigning nausea is the best way to go with that.

Of course, you can always thank us for this kindness by getting us an autographed DVD from the little cutie. Just saying.