Big Baby Really Likes Manicures

A couple of weeks ago, we declared that journalism was over when the AP came up with the headline “Powdered cocaine not just for white yuppies anymore.” But now we realize that our declaration was premature. Today’s Herald features a story about our favorite Celtics rookie Glen “Big Baby” Davis and his dedication to well-manicured hands.

Late last month we told you about Davis’ endorsement of ACE Nail Care’s line of products that’s geared specifically for men. If you thought the quotes in the press release were brilliant, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

The 22-year-old didn’t always pay attention to grooming habits. “Not until I started liking girls,” [Davis] recalled last week[.]

“This is optimum playing nail,” he said, pointing to the middle finger of his left hand to reveal the slightest slice of white extending from the finger. He clipped the others around it, talking about them as if he were shooting baskets.

“When you knock down a nail,” he said. “Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.”

Next time we head out for a manicure, we’re totally going to ask for “optimum playing nail.”