Sleep Is for Clippers Fans

We know the rest of America hates our embarrassment of sports riches. The Red Sox are defending World Series champions. The Patriots went 18-1. The Bruins. . . made it to the first round of the playoffs. And the Celtics are well on their way to winning the NBA Championship.

While we’re perfectly content to let the haters hate, we can do our part to cut down on their ammunition. So quit bitching about how staying up to watch the NBA Finals is making you sleepy.

“I hate it,” said [George] Hutt[.] “The only game I watched in its entirety was [Sunday] night, because I thought it was going to be the championship.”

Would you listen to yourself? It’s been 22 years since the Celtics won a championship, and you’re whining about not getting your beauty sleep? Red Auerbach is going to extinguish his cigar in your eye, sir.

Believe it or not, sports fans, someday Boston’s teams will suck again. The Duck Boats will be used solely to transport tourists who will point and laugh at us for still loving our crappy teams. And then you will be sorry that you slept through the greatest time in Boston sports history.

Drink some coffee, take a nap before the game starts, and stop whining. You’re embarrassing the rest of us.