Stop the Baseball Fan-on-Fan Violence

The relationship between fans of the Yankees and the Red Sox is not dissimilar to the relationship between North and South Korea. Fans of each team warily eye each other across our shared border, waiting for a good excuse to start a fight.

Tensions have escalated on both sides of the Sox-Yanks divide, and not just because Hank Steinbrenner is running his mouth.

The Cambridge Chronicle reports a mob of Red Sox fans beat the crap out of a guy wearing a Yankees hat while he and his girlfriend were at the Cantab Lounge on Saturday night.

The couple was inside the bar for a while when a large group of people came up to them and started arguing with the victim because he was wearing a New York Yankees baseball cap, according to police reports.

The couple left the bar without further confrontation, but the group allegedly followed them outside on the street as they walked home, according to reports.

Why would this mob pick on a guy who’s already suffering? He’s a Yankees fan in 2008. Just leaving him with his thoughts is punishment enough.

Yankees fans, however, are probably looking for something to take their baseball-related aggression out on. Which is why we won’t be buying one of the limited-edition Red Sox Volvos.

The special edition Volvo C30 has customized outside molding and trim, plus fog lights, heated front seats, a blue-face instrument cluster, leather-wrapped steering wheel with aluminum inlays, sport pedals, sport shifter, soft load cover, cruise control, and a Dynaudio sound system with Sirius satellite radio. It also has a small Red Sox logo badge on each front fender, special floor mats embossed with a Sox “B,” and a large transparent Sox logo decal in the rear window.

Why buy a car you can’t drive to New York? We can just imagine the outrage in Boston when disgruntled Yankees fans start using that rear window as a pinata. Then the cycle of violence starts all over again.