Free To All, Not Free-For-All

We love the Boston Public Library. It was the first public library in America. Cute librarians work there. We can borrow the books we want to read instead of buying them and cursing ourselves when we have to move. But a rash of violence at the main branch has us worried.

WBZ’s Joe Shortsleeve (if there’s a better name for a reporter, we don’t know what it could be) fills us in on the ne’er do wells who hang out at the Copley branch.

“I’ve seen two people get into a fight once about two months ago, and security came and broke them up,” said one patron “It was just really crazy, just two crazy people fighting about nothing inside the library.”

So just who is using the main branch of the Boston Public Library these days? WBZ found one man sounds asleep at a table and others clearly camped out for the day. One man stood up and completely undid his pants, while another rummaged through the trash.

We’re not too shocked by the allegations. A couple of months ago, carpets in the fiction section had been shampooed, creating an overpowering stench of stale urine. It’s a public space in an urban area—not everyone is going to be well-behaved.

Shortsleeve reported his findings to Mayor Tom Menino, who vowed to look into the matter. There’s no need for additional security details or kicking dozing homeless people out of the library. All the BPL needs is some strict librarians.

We mean the old-school women who could sush with a ferocity that would give a lineman pause. The permissive attitude of the new breed of warm and fuzzy librarians has not served the community well. Just let some of the cool older ladies poke people awake and order them to put their pants back on. The library will be safe for all in a matter of days.

Just be sure to keep cute librarian Melissa. She’s awesome.