Weekend Redux: What You Missed

Just because you spent all weekend obsessing about the Patriots doesn’t mean the world stopped moving. We round up the notable stories you missed.

Saturday
The Globe continues to print its Mitt Romney bombshells in the hopes that one of them actually explodes and ruins his candidacy. The daily reported that while Romney was governor, his officials approved a tax-exempt bond for a Planned Parenthood in Worcester — an outfit which will perform abortions and hand out morning-after pills.

In the case of the abortion clinic funding deal, the Republican candidate’s spokesman Eric Fehrnstrom said Romney would have attempted to block it — if he had known about it.

“Mitt Romney is prolife,” Fehrnstrom said. “He did not know about this loan. It was made by an agency that does not report to the governor. If it did, he would have told them not to do it.”

Meanwhile, experts say that Romney’s television spot attacking John McCain may do more harm than good.

We understand that not all of you have a lot of common sense. But you have to be some kind of moron to text and drive. Craig Bigos is that kind of moron. He was allegedly text messaging when he struck and killed a 13-year-old boy. He told investigators he thought the boy was a mailbox. OMG.

It’s understood that mistakes were made in the release of Daniel Tavares Jr. But the difference between trying to keep the killer in jail for another two years to early release is pretty drastic.

We’d be concerned about MBTA employees carrying weapons that riders attempt to steal, but the bullets will probably travel too slowly and arrive 15 minutes after the intended victim walked away. Zing!

They may taste like colored chalk, but we will riot in the streets if the new owners of the New England Confectionery Co. try to stop producing Necco Wafers. We shudder to think what would serve as the shingles on next year’s gingerbread house.

Sunday
16-0! Broken records! Peace in our time. Until the playoffs, anyway.

Remember how you used to play games as a kid that allowed you to boss other kids around? (No? Well, indulge us here.) Anyway, we just found the real-life equivalent of that in the case of William, Marc, and Michael Hayhurst, who were bumped to the top of the Boston fire department’s hiring list despite their dismal civil service exam scores after they got a special law passed.

The bill for the Hayhursts gave them the same benefits that are given to survivors of a firefighter who died in the line of duty, even though their father died of eye cancer in 2002, not in the line of duty. The bill flew through two committees and the state Senate in less than two hours in September.

If our elected leaders are reading this, we’d like a bill passed that declares us king of the world and gives us a pony.

It’s been nearly 20 days since Robert Taylor probably died in an apartment fire in Gloucester, but his body hasn’t yet been found. Our imaginations are running wild with this one. Maybe the elderly handyman is still alive and living large in Vegas. We wish you the best, Mr. Taylor, wherever you are.

A gold star to the Boston’s EMTs, who overwhelmingly approved a contract that requires random drug testing. No word on whether this will sway the firefighter union.

It seems John McCain knows a lot more about Mitt Romney than we’d ever like to know.

As Senator John McCain rolled down a New Hampshire highway yesterday in his “Straight Talk Express” campaign bus, he listened to a description of the latest attack on him by his chief rival in this state’s primary, Mitt Romney.

Asked how he intended to respond, the Arizona Republican said: “Never get into a wrestling match with a pig. You both get dirty — and the pig likes it.”

Ew.