Disenfranchised in Rhode Island

Last month, I wrote about how happy I was to technically be a Rhode Island resident so I could vote in one of the suddenly relevant Ver-Tex-Io Island primaries yesterday. I gloated about the sudden importance of my vote, and was sure to mail in my absentee ballot well before the deadline.

Imagine my surprise when I found my ballot sitting in my mailbox last night.

A note to the people at the Rhode Island board of elections—if you’re mailing ballots to shut-ins and lazy people, you should probably make it abundantly clear that more than one stamp is required. Putting a rectangle the size of one stamp with the words “PLACE STAMP HERE” doesn’t accomplish this. Maybe “PLACE 56 CENTS WORTH OF POSTAGE HERE” would be more appropriate?

It’s enough to make a woman officially move to Massachusetts.

Voters who actually live in the Ocean State flocked to the polls to hand Hillary Clinton her first victory in 12 contests. Before the contest in Rhode Island was called, Barack Obama handily beat Clinton in Vermont, which had more than a presidential primary on its hands. Voters in two Vermont towns also voted to indict President George Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney.

More symbolic than substantive, the items sought to have police arrest Bush and Cheney if they visit Brattleboro or nearby Marlboro or to extradite them for prosecution elsewhere — if they’re not impeached first.

Don’t ever change, Vermont.

Obama has become the Boston Bruins of the presidential campaign—just when it looks like he’s hit his stride, he gets blown out of the water. While he still leads in the overall delegate count, Clinton got the psychological boost she needed from winning Texas and Ohio.

The people of Ohio have said it loudly and clearly: we’re going on, we’re going strong, and we’re going all the way.

Which left Obama to take a page from Romney’s playbook and rely on his delegate count to buoy his supporters.

[W]e know this – no matter what happens tonight, we have nearly the same delegate lead as we did this morning, and we are on our way to winning this nomination.

At least he didn’t start talking about silver medals, which is what Mike Huckabee was left with at the end of the night as John McCain officially became the Republican nominee. Huckabee left the campaign has he started it—with folksy stories and a love of Jesus.

“Not only have we fought the good fight and finished the race but more importantly, we have kept the faith. I would rather lose an election than lose the principles that got me into politics in the first place.”

Now the pundits are making like Punxsutawney Phil and are predicting six more weeks of Democratic sniping as the Pennsylvania primary approaches. Clinton is already angling for a joint ticket with Obama, though she’d clearly like to be the top name on the ballot.

Somebody make it stop.