Tim Thomas Also Skips State of the Union Address

You know where else the hapless Bruins goalie wasn’t last night? That’s right, sitting in the galley for Obama’s third the State of the Union address. For two days in a row now, Thomas did not attend major government events in our nation’s capitol. What’s with this guy?

Sources report that Thomas had intended to go, but when he got to the first toll booth on the Mass Pike, he protested, saying “The Federal government has grown out of control, threatening the Rights, Liberties and Property of the People,” and then refused to pony up the few bucks. It should also be noted that Thomas eschews EZPass, the popular, automatic toll-paying tags, because they “[Threaten] the Rights, Liberties and Property of the People.”

Even if he had made it, there wasn’t much for a Libertarian-leaning chap like Thomas to like about the speech. The centerpiece of Obama’s lengthy address was the recalibration of the tax code to close corporate loopholes and set a minimum tax on wage earners who clear over $1 million per year. Thomas, as a member of that hallowed 1 percent, reportedly said, “The Federal government has grown out of control, threatening the Rights, Liberties and Property of the People.”

As the speech drew on, Thomas, who refused to even watch it because Obama’s asking for an hour of prime-time represents a “classic government overreach” would have grown even more upset by the President’s announcement of a program to investigate claims of trade violations, particularly against China. To Thomas, that sounds expanding an already bloated government, leading the goalie to once again trot out the phrase: “The Federal government has grown out of control, threatening the Rights, Liberties and Property of the People.”

As the speech neared a close last night, Thomas got a ring at his doorbell. “Pizza guy,” he said. But once the delivery guy told him the price quoted over the phone doesn’t include tax. “The Federal government has grown out of control, threatening the Rights, Liberties and Property of the People,” Thomas said, slamming the door and leaving the delivery guy just a little perplexed.

“He won’t pay a few cents on a $10 pizza?” the delivery guy said. “I wonder what other enormously good opportunities he’d skip just to prove a point.”