A Professional’s Guide to Beating a Hangover in Boston

Cocktail photo by Brian Keith Photography | Dispensary photo by Matthew J. Lee/The Boston Globe via Getty Images | massage photo by Viyada Thai / photo provided | macaroni and cheese photo courtesy of Picco

Good morning!!! Hope you had a nice time last night!! How are you feeling? Would you say you feel like a family of mallards delightfully prancing across the Public Garden? Or would you describe your current position as more like you just smashed your skull against a low-hanging overpass on Storrow Drive?

Well, if you’re feeling more like the Red Sox in 1986 and less like the Red Sox in 2004, 2007, 2013, and 2018, fear not, because we have some time-honored, and also cutting-edge, solutions for you. So dim the lights, pop on those sunglasses, and heed our advice on slaying a hangover in Boston.

The Fed’s sexy, carrot-orange Jessica Rabbit cocktail. / Photo by Brian Keith Photography

Hair of the dog

Let’s just get straight to it, why don’t we? Keeping the party going is a technique as old as time, and it’s backed by science (if not by your doctor and/or concerned loved ones). So for your consideration, here are some Boston approved options for putting that headache on hold in our top 25 bars roundup, and our top spots for day-drinking.

Photo by BSIP / Contributor Universal Images Group via Getty Images

Listen to a bartender

A few years back we asked Boston’s most-qualified sages of liquor, bartenders, for their advice. Ever tried the Orangina and alka seltzer trick? Or the Excedrin and Gatorade trick? Or how about the Deep Ellum(RIP)-approved Ramos Gin Fizz? Here’s what they told us.

Courtesy of Picco

Eat

If you’re the kind of person who finds themselves in need of hearty breakfasts and greasy platters for medical purposes in the Boston area, you really need to keep our guides to these indulgences handy. Here are some insiders’ tips on the city’s best mac and cheese, bagels, burgers, diners, brunch, and grilled cheese to get you started. And if you’re in more of an on-the-go kind of mood, kindly consider our definitive ranking of the best and worst Dunkin’ breakfast sandwiches.

Photo by Simple Green Smoothies

Eat healthy

However, if you’re trying to take care of yourself in the aftermath of whatever it was you were up to last night, there are less self-destructive choices to be made. Consider the wealth of options in our very own list of actually-good-for-you hangover cures, from cocoanut water smoothies to baked banana bread oatmeal.

Photo by Pramote Polyamate via Getty Images

Take an IV

There’s a reason boutique IV treatments at Boston spots like the cheekily named IV League in Southie are all the rage. (And, from personal experience, why there are perks to having a nurse or other qualified healthcare professional with access to “banana bags” in your squad for the morning after). It ain’t cheap—IV treatments start around $80 and can go way up from there depending on the cocktail of nutrients you desire—but can you really put a price tag on sweet, sweet, intravenous vitamin-rich relief?

Photo by Thomas A. Ferrara/Newsday RM via Getty Images

Chill out

Speaking of the hottest (coldest?) trends in wellness, how about some cryotherapy? A few years ago these places were the most-talked about innovations in self-care on the market—due, it seems to the combination of wellness-adjacency, extreme discomfort, and, frankly, cinematic value this activity can add to your Insta story. There are now two places to experience this in Boston, one on Boylston and the other on Newbury. We’re told it causes an invigorating rush of endorphins. So, hey, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Maybe it’ll make you less hungover, too.

Berkshire Roots in East Boston. (Photo by Matthew J. Lee/The Boston Globe via Getty Images)

Eat an edible

Yes you cannabis. Weed is legal here in the Commonwealth, and Boston’s pot shops are brimming with not just smokable buds but oils, tinctures, sodas, vapes, and, of course, gummies. There’s a reason medical marijuana patients have turned to their products of choice to deal with maladies like chronic nausea and anxiety. If you’re feeling run-down after one too many egg nogs, it’s not a bad place to start.

Viyada Thai / photo provided

Get a massage

If you’re destined to spend the day horizontal, why not do it at one of the city’s best massage parlors, where an expert can lovingly work out all those knots you earned dancing on the table at Bijou? If you’d like to upgrade from your couch to one of the best massage tables in Boston, here’s where to go.

Do it all

Last time we checked, it wasn’t illegal to down a cocktail, eat a gargantuan grilled cheese, pump yourself full of fluids, stand in a blast-chiller, get baked, and get basted with scented oils. If you manage to check all of these boxes in a single recovery day, please let us know so we can nominate you for Best of Boston 2022.