Six Indulgent Ways to Eat Your Feelings Around Boston

Hope you’re doing well!

Okay, okay—reflexive salutations aside, we already know exactly how you’re doing. You’re hanging on to sanity by your fingernails, just like everyone else, because between a pandemic, political strife, and a world literally on fire, everything is garbage right now. But do you know what will absolutely make you feel better? Eating all of the food. And so, just in case cathartic screaming doesn’t do the trick, we’ve found some of the most over-the-top, insanely indulgent, and generally delicious dishes at every price point around Boston—from a bucket full of ice cream to an extravagant Greek feast. So go ahead, treat yourself to some decadence. You’ve earned it.

Photo by Hiuching Y. via Yelp

The 420 Burger ($16.50) at Boston Burger Company

No one could fault you if getting stoned to oblivion every night and binging 30 Rock (again) is your therapy of choice lately. But when those munchies hit and you’re paralyzed by the gut-wrenching decision of which fried comfort food to order, Boston Burger Company makes the choice a no-brainer: get ‘em all, and get ‘em on top of a burger. The 420 Burger boasts mozzarella sticks, fried mac and cheese, bacon, American cheese, golden barbeque sauce and both onion rings and fries (because anyone who tells you to choose between the two is a monster), all atop a thick patty. From the fried bliss offered by that first bite, you’re bound to discover—at least as far as burger toppings are concerned—you can have it all.

Boston Burger Company, 37 Davis Square, Somerville, 617-440-7361; 1105 Mass. Ave., Cambridge, 857-242-3605; 1100 Boylston St., Boston, 857-233-4560; 133 Washington St., Salem, 978-414-5910, bostonburgercompany.com.

Photo courtesy of Schoolhouse Ice Cream & Yogurt

The Sundae Bucket Challenge ($40) at Schoolhouse Ice Cream & Yogurt

Now that students and parents all over the state are grappling with remote learning, it’s the perfect time to head to Schoolhouse Ice Cream & Yogurt and bury all the frustration under a mountain of homemade ice cream. Your assignment is to tackle the Sundae Bucket Challenge: 10 scoops of your choice of ice cream like red velvet cupcake and caramel cheesecake, frozen yogurt, or sherbet layered with four bananas and finished off with a can of whipped cream and 10 toppings. All in, it’s half a gallon of the sweet stuff served in a trifle bowl. You might not be able to stop local college students from having non-socially-distanced ragers, but you can absolutely grab a spoon, conquer this challenge, and have your picture taken for the spot’s hall of fame board. Plus, Schoolhouse’s dreamy ice cream is made from 16 percent butterfat with ingredients like imported Dutch cocoa powder, so it offers a big upgrade from the pints in your freezer—not that those last very long, lately.

214 Cambridge St, Burlington, 781-221-0338, schoolhouseicecream.com.

Photo by Emily Kan

Mangia Pasta Mondays ($70 for two) at Mida

Noodles are known the world over for their emotionally restorative properties. (See: mac and cheese, instant ramen.) But Mida brings things to the next level, combining the best qualities of comfort food and five-star cuisine for its Mangia Pasta Mondays. This mouthwatering endurance sport of eating invites duos of diners to plow through five generous entrée-sized options from the menu’s rotating pasta list—maybe the heavenly gnocchi cacao e pepe with lemon zest, or the bucatini all’Amatriciana with a velvety San Marzano tomato sauce. It’s all accompanied by salad and fresh bread. If you’re flying solo, Mida will still make it work for you, and the special is also available as takeout, if you prefer to lick your bowl in the privacy of your own home. (Save room for some out-of-this-world tiramisu, too.) Sure, you might not have gone to the gym since March, but at least now you can eat your body weight in paccheri Bolognese.

Mida, 782 Tremont St., Boston, 617-936-3490, midaboston.com.

Photo courtesy of Milk Bar

The Pumpkin Classic ($75) at Milk Bar

Milk Bar’s Pumpkin Classic, a gooey pumpkin dulce de leche cake served with a dozen truffles, enfolds you in a full-body hug of fall flavors—and that’s exactly what you need right now (especially since you can’t really touch other people). Savor layers of cinnamon spice cake smothered with cheese-cakey pumpkin frosting and topped off with dulche de leche drizzle, with salty pepitas zinging through the sweetness. Those pumpkin dulce de leche truffles meanwhile, dipped in white chocolate and tossed in cinnamon, are perfectly travel-sized to stick into the front pocket of that same hoodie you’ve been wearing for the last three days. Here’s a tip: Every time you’re tempted to refresh the New York Times homepage or doomscroll through Twitter, instead pop a truffle and lose yourself in seasonal bliss.

3 Brattle St., Cambridge, 857-321-8430, milkbarstore.com.

Courtesy of Mr. Roni Cups

Mr. Roni Deluxe Combo ($309.99) at Mr. Roni Cups

If your Uber Eats order history is filled with evidence of too many subpar pizza nights, it’s time to enjoy an indulgence you can’t get from a Domino’s delivery. For that, look to Mr. Roni Cups, a takeout-only spot that opened in August within Bianca, a still-upcoming Chestnut Hill eatery from the team behind Boston’s swish sushi icon O Ya: The place is currently pairing half a pan of pizza, topped with mushroom and freshly shaved black truffle, with a 2011 vintage of silky red La Gerla Brunella di Montalcino “Riserva Gli Angeli” wine. Best of all? The pizza crust at Mr. Roni Cups is light as air, so you’ll be able to easily house your way through all of the focaccia-like, square slices, which are cut with scissors. (You, meanwhile, should cut out of your life anyone who tries to talk you out of spending $300 on a pizza. No one needs that negativity.) Spring an extra buck for a side of house-made buttermilk ranch dip—a delicious, creamy blanket that layers well with all that truffle.

Mr. Roni Cups at Bianca, 47 Boylston St., Chestnut Hill, 857-576-8300; biancachestnuthill.com/mr-roni-cups-menu.

Courtesy of Krasi

Feast of the Gods at Krasi ($329)

Do you know what Zeus cared about, at least according to my well-worn copy of Bullfinch’s Mythology? Nothing and no one but himself. I mean, Zeus killed his own father and used to transform himself into various wild animals to seduce Greek youths on the regular. You, on the other hand, have spent 2020 washing your hands raw and getting brain-scraping COVID tests just so you can wave to your parents from outside their living room window. Well, it’s time to take a cue from the bearded daddy of Olympus, indulge your base instincts, and buckle in for some culinary hedonism. See: the Feast of the Gods at Krasi, a Greek mezze and wine bar that opened in the Back Bay in February. This daily-changing ambrosia fest features upward of 20 items, give or take, including all of Krasi’s fresh breads (such as slightly sweet charoupi) and small plates like fried mussels in ouzo batter, whipped feta with crispy chicken skins, and filet tartare with perfectly smoky moussaka. Sure, the feast is designed to feed six to eight guests, but if you believe in yourself, I know you can get through it alone. Heads up, there’s a gluten-free option for $174 if bread is your Achilles heel—and look out for a brunch version of this banquet to debut later this month.

Krasi, 48 Gloucester St., Boston, 617-536-0230; krasiboston.com.